


Me and Mine

by emerald_autumn



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-21 03:56:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13732638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald_autumn/pseuds/emerald_autumn
Summary: Loki loves Thor, Thor loves Loki, but secrets revealed send them down different paths, will they find their way back to each other?





	1. For the Child

**Author's Note:**

> This starts off at the beginning of the first Thor movie, with an alternate backstory leading up to it. This story skirts the edges of canon but other than that doesn't resemble the films much at all.

Loki lay on red silk sheets, regarding the man lying beside him in the moonlight. The flames in the nearby torches flickered with a gentle breeze but he barely noticed as his focus was on his lover, Thor Odinson.

Odin and Frigga had never hidden the fact that they were not biological brothers. So when Loki found himself lusting after the God of Thunder, he wasn’t all that surprised. After all, the majority of Asgard considered Thor quite a catch.

The Thunderer was incredibly handsome. Some brave few even dared to call him beautiful. With his golden blond hair, vibrant blue eyes and muscles that made his limbs look like tree trunks, he was certainly not lacking in the looks department.

He was powerful. He wielded the war hammer named Mjolnir, the powers of thunder and lightning. He could vanquish a great many foes in a single swing of the mighty weapon.

He was brave, though some might call him foolish. He wasn’t afraid to go into battle and defeat the enemy he opposed but at the same time he was more likely to be the one to call the enemy out in the first place.

He was also possessed of a great ego. He was so confident in his skills he rarely looked beyond his current actions to see how it might affect the future. He saw nothing wrong with this behaviour and no one was brave enough to call him on it so it continued.

This was probably his greatest flaw.

Loki had known this from the time they were children. Raised alongside the prince as a companion, the adopted Odinson often fell victim to his older “siblings” adventures. It irritated, frustrated, hurt and angered him to varying degrees. It was usually left to Loki to clean up the mess his older companion made.

Despite this flaw however, Loki couldn’t prevent himself from falling in love with the golden prince.

As they grew older, Thor grew more and more beautiful and Loki fell more and more in love with him. They reached their maturity and Thor seemed to accept the attentions Loki gave him, even seemed to return them sometimes.

As much as Loki would like to trust in that though, that one flaw in his golden lover made him doubt the whispered sentiments Thor kissed into Loki’s skin after their lovemaking.

They kept it secret, which did not help Loki’s insecurities. But their love would not be accepted by a great many of Asgard.

Odin had always treated Loki fairly but never let it seem like he was favoured. Thor’s friend’s disdained the smaller youth from following them around, resenting Loki’s place in Thor’s life. Loki wanted to blame them for their dismissal of him, but he was a mere companion, someone the Allfather had adopted to entertain his son, a practice not uncommon in the richer households. Loki didn’t even know who his real parents were, and probably never would.

So Loki had no real contribution to make to a union between himself and Thor if their relationship was ever made public. He could not broker a peace between planets or add wealth to Asgard. All he could do, many would say, is trick his way into the prince’s bed and destroy Asgard from the inside out.

They despised Loki for his magic, though Loki was never sure why. The Queen was quite an accomplished wielder of magic and she was praised for it, but Loki was condemned for the same. It wasn’t fair or even justified. There were a number of Asgardians, both male and female who practiced magical arts, but only Loki seemed to receive the disdain from the people, even fellow magic users.

No, it definitely was not fair.

“What are you thinking about so deeply, Loki?” Thor’s deep rumble of a voice, so like the thunder, interrupted Loki’s maudlin thoughts.

“Nothing,” he smiled up at his golden lover. The prince loomed over where Loki lay on his bed. Thor was still without a shirt and probably pants, seeing as he was under the blanket and had never been at all timid when revealing his body.

“That is a very deep frown to be caused by nothing,” Thor noted, gently stroking between Loki’s eyes as if to rub away the creases there.

Doing his best to mask his unease, Loki smiled and snuggled closer. There were not many occasions when they could relax together. But Odin was in a meeting and Frigga was…doing whatever it was she did. Despite having been raised by the woman, Loki could no more properly fathom the Queen of Asgard now than he had in his whole life.

“Are you still feeling ill?” Thor asked, brushing Loki’s black tresses behind his ear and stroking the column of his neck, something he knew Loki loved.

Loki purred and leant into the touch, closing his eyes with a sigh. He sensed Thor waiting for an answer so he murmured a quite “Yes” as he relaxed into his pillow. For the past few weeks, Loki had woken up and promptly lost whatever meal he had eaten the night before. Sometimes it made him so ill he had to lie in bed for a time. He had tried to hide it from Thor but the prince wasn’t as stupid as others might think him. He noticed Loki’s waning interest in eating most meals and had demanded to know why.

“What have the healer’s said about it?” Thor asked now.

Loki remained silent.

“You did go and see a healer didn’t you?”

Loki hummed and kept his eyes shut.

“Loki”

With an aggravated groan Loki frowned up at his lover. The frown immediately softened though when he saw the worry on the prince’s face. “I’m fine, love, just a virus I probably picked up from one of the meetings with foreign representatives.”

Thor sighed, “I hope you are right.”

Loki watched his beloved for several moments as the golden prince played with a lock of dark hair.

“When do you leave?” Loki murmured. He knew of Thor’s plan to go to Jotunheim. He didn’t approve, and with him being ill, Thor wouldn’t let him accompany him either. Instead Thor was going with his group of like-minded friends. Loki hadn’t been able to dissuade his lover from going either, which irked him greatly.

“In the morning,” Thor abandoned the lock of hair and leant down to kiss Loki on the lips. Loki eagerly reached up to meet him and for a moment he forgot his worrying illness and Thor’s foolhardy plan.

“Sleep, love,” Thor murmured after pulling away, “I’ll try not to wake you when I leave and I’ll see you when I return.”

Loki smiled, effectively masking his fears. Thor doused the lights and settled back on his bed. No one disturbed the heir of Asgard in his chambers and not even Odin could sneak in to witness their secret. If worst came to worst, Loki could slip through the joining door to his own rooms. Heimdall might know by now but so far he hadn’t said anything so Loki hoped the all-seeing Gatekeeper was ignoring their frequent dalliances.

Loki fell asleep after listening to the comforting sound of his lover’s heartbeat. In the morning he would worry. But if he was going to survive without Thor for a day, he was going to need his sleep.

 

As promised, Thor was gone by morning. Loki went about his now-normal morning routine of throwing up his breakfast and settling down in his own bed until the nausea left him. It took longer than usual however, probably brought on by Loki’s anxiety about Thor’s plan.

He was just beginning to move from his bed when his magic alerted him to the presence of the woman he had called mother. He had been so long in bed that it had garnered attention from the guards who, in turn, notified the Queen.

“Good morning, Mother,” he greeted softly as she strode in, as always looking perfect and serene. The Asgardian Queen had always insisted on Loki calling her mother, and Odin father. It warmed his heart to hear someone claim him and he appreciated their effort, not all fosterlings such as he were permitted that luxury.

“Good morning, Loki,” the Queen moved towards him and kissed his brow before leaning back to study him. “You are not well.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. Coupled with that intense stare that seemed to see past all of Loki’s layers, and he knew it was pointless to deflect.

“Yes,” Loki admitted simply, because she always knew when he was lying. She always knew. Which was why he was glad she had, so far, not asked him if he had his eye on any Asgardian women to marry. He couldn’t stomach lying to her but he would have to if she asked. Loki had never been interested in women; he wasn’t entirely sure what to look for in a female partner. Desiring a male partner wasn’t uncommon, but if the Queen asked him whom he thought to take as a husband, Loki would not be able to hide his deepest wish.

He didn’t want to see her pity, or worse her disgust.

“Have you spoken to a healer?” Frigga asked in her quiet but clear voice. The one she used when she demanded an answer, both her children and her husband knew better than to try and evade her when she used that tone.

“Not yet,” Loki admitted, looking away.

Frigga sighed, “I know you dislike healers but we must know what ails you.”

Loki groaned but didn’t bother to fight her. She would get her way no matter what so it was best to just give in and let her have her way.

“Do you feel up to making the trip now?” Frigga wasn’t going to give him any chance of escaping.

With a roll of his eyes, Loki dressed and followed his mother from his rooms toward where the healers practiced their craft.

The royal healer immediately made room for Loki in her schedule and ushered him to a separate room. The old healer was one of the few Loki trusted not to look down her nose at him. The woman cared for healing her patients and didn’t care where they came from or what was wrong. If it were within her power, she would fix it. That was why she had been made the Royal healer above others who might have been more qualified at the time she was appointed.

She had Loki lie down on a table and set to work examining him. Loki closed his eyes and dozed as she moved around him, trying to relax and blank his mind.

After what seemed like hours but was probably only a fraction of that time, the healer ushered in Frigga and had a hushed conversation with her in the corner. Both women looked concerned so Loki looked away. Outwardly he remained calm but inside he felt sick and scared. What were they going to tell him?

“Loki,” Frigga’s soft voice sounded questioning. Frigga rarely sounded so unsure so Loki felt his tension rise.

“What’s wrong with me?” he asked, whisper soft.

“There is something we should have told you a long time ago, my son.” Frigga looked sad. She sounded strained. She held her hands clasped in front of her, a sign of nerves.

This was not going to be pleasant. Frigga was not one to lose her composure. She was too well versed in her duties as Queen to let herself appear so obviously flustered.

Loki had a sinking feeling in his gut that had nothing to do with the illness he had been suffering from.

“What should you have told me?”

 

Loki spent the remainder of his day sitting in an isolated section of his mother’s rose gardens. It was a hiding place he and Thor had found and used as children to hide from their nannies. As they grew and their relationship changed, it had become a favourite meeting place where they would have little to no interruptions.

Now it was a place where Loki listened to the sound of wind gently rusting the rose petals while he contemplated that his whole world was shattered around him.

_Loki wasn’t normal._

That was the one thought that kept circulating in his head as he sat and stared down at his hands. Pale hands, the hands he had looked at his whole life. But even they were a lie.

Loki wasn’t a born prince of Asgard, a face he had always known. It mattered little as when the royal couple had adopted him, even if it was as a companion, he had become second in line for the throne after Thor. But that wasn’t the whole story. He had assumed, as many had, that he was a peasant child the king had adopted. That wasn’t the truth at all.

He was a child Odin had snatched from another world. The world of the Frost Giants; Jotunheim

Loki was a Jotun.

_Loki wasn’t normal._

Odin had found the infant Loki when he laid siege to Jotunheim decades ago. He had taken pity on the runt and carried him home. Frigga masked Loki’s true form with her magic and raised him alongside her biological child, claiming he was a fosterling. No one would think twice about the presence of another child in the royal house with that story.

The signs had been there, Loki just hadn’t even known to look for them.

He trained in magic rather than battle, proving himself different from the beginning. Was that why others hated him? Did they somehow sense that his magic was different to theirs? The Jotuns were known for their ice magic but they also wielded other magical powers as well. Was it somehow different to what the Asgardians used?

It didn’t really matter anymore.

_Loki wasn’t normal._

Then there was Loki’s personal life to consider. He fell in love with the prince. Thor. Who didn’t know about Loki’s true form, or what that heritage would mean for them. Thor who was even now, attacking the realm of the Frost Giants, their – no Asgard’s - sworn enemy, the monsters in the dark. Would the prince treat Loki the same when he found out about Loki’s true parentage? Worse, what would he think now that Loki’s heritage could not be hidden?

Now that he was even less normal.

In Asgard, the sexes were clear. There were males and females, both with clear roles when it came to reproduction. Women bore children, men seeded them.

Jotuns though, were dual-gendered. They could do both.

Which was why Loki’s predicament was so perilous now. He was pregnant.

_Pregnant._

He carried a child while appearing outwardly male, something he could change with his magic but how would he explain his baby? Besides, everyone knew he was supposed to be male. He couldn’t simply pretend to be female and not have anyone question it. How could he tell the realm about his biological differences?

How could he tell Thor?

He was pregnant not only with an Asgardian child. Not only with his adopted brother’s offspring, something some might take offence to. He was also pregnant with the heir of Asgard.

That was something Odin would not accept. A great many Asgardians would not accept that either. Polluting the royal line with Jotun blood? Impossible.

Would Thor accept it? Could he afford to? If he sided with Loki he might lose his birthright. Odin might appoint someone else as his heir, one of the more notable warriors perhaps, an elder’s son or council member’s offspring.

Thor might lose everything if he sided with Loki.

Loki had entertained the dream of Thor choosing him, of the pair living happily ever after as Asgard’s royal couple. He imagined the realm accepting him, adoring his child.

Yes, it was a happy dream, but a dream nonetheless. For it wasn’t possible.

Loki wasn’t normal, and now he was going to pay for it.

 

The announcement of Thor returning home came to him almost too late.

The mission had been foolish from the start and Loki had known it would probably backfire somehow.

Thor had been found out upon returning and the Allfather was not happy.

In fact he was furious.

So furious, that he was banishing his son and heir to another realm until the prince learnt humility.

Only then could he return.

Loki rushed from his garden hideaway in time to see his lover hurtle down the Bifrost to that odd little world called Midgard. It wasn’t advanced enough yet to interest many worlds and the planet’s population couldn’t fathom others existing yet either so it was considered a primitive place by many.

Loki found it quite interesting, usually, though not when his lover had been banished there in order to learn something that decades in Asgard had not taught him.

It could take years for Thor to learn his lesson. Years that Loki did not have. He had to come up with a plan. He needed Thor here.

He hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye.

Now he may never get the opportunity.

Because Loki could not stay. Asgard would not accept him or his child. Perhaps Jotunheim would, but all the tales he had heard suggested the ice planet would not.

Loki hid himself away in his rooms that night and curled up in his lonely bed, weeping quietly.

He rarely slept alone anymore and now he was feeling that emptiness so much more. Panic was edging in, panic and fear.

What was he going to do now?

He placed a hand on his belly, cradling his child for the first time. He wasn’t showing. He wouldn’t for a while and he could probably hide it for longer. But for now the contact comforted him.

His baby needed him alive. Which meant leaving Asgard.

It was that simple, even if Loki was reluctant. Asgard might be a hostile place for him with few allies or allures to keep him, but it was home.

He had travelled between worlds before, exploring. When Thor had been lured away by his friends, Loki had gone on his own adventures. So, he could escape Asgard and go…somewhere.

He could hide on another world.

But he needed some sort of plan as to how to get there, and how to make sure he wasn’t followed.

He needed to talk to the Allfather.

 

The talk did not go well.

Loki yelled, Odin yelled.

Loki wanted to know about his true heritage; Odin didn’t want to tell him.

Loki wanted Thor back, Odin refused.

Then Odin fell.

Loki blinked at his adopted father’s prone form for several long seconds before he approached the old king. The Odinsleep had taken the Allfather.

Now he was never going to get his answers.

Worse, he could never get any sort of assurance as to whether or not his child would be welcomed on Asgard. He still held out a small kernel of hope that he could stay. That Thor would keep him. It was what kept him sane in the growing mess that was his life.

“Guards!” Loki screamed for the guards outside the door. They rushed in and took care of their king, taking him away.

Loki stared after them in numb shock.

Now he was legally King of Asgard, without Thor here. Frigga would be by her husband’s side until he awoke, leaving Loki as the only male heir fit to rule. Despite their advancements, the hierarchy in Asgard was still slightly primitive. Men ruled and women obeyed. Though anyone stating that out loud to Frigga or Lady Sif probably wouldn’t live long enough to regret it.

In this case though, with Loki as the King, he would have the power to influence things to the best outcome for him and his baby.

The plan he had concocted was not the best, nor would it cast him in a favourable light, but he wasn’t left with many options. His heart ached with what he had to do in order to get out of this alive and well. He wasn’t looking forward to it at all.

 

He was starting to show now, Thor was still not home and the Allfather was still asleep. Loki was roughly three months along now. Jotuns apparently carried for ten months, as the babe needed the extra time in the womb before entering the harsh ice-covered world. Asgardians only carried for eight months, as their world was so bountiful. Loki could carry for anytime between eight and ten months since his child was a hybrid between two peoples.

Loki had journeyed to Jotunheim to investigate whether that would be a safe haven to give birth to his child. After all, he was technically a Jotun; perhaps he could make himself a new home amongst his own kin. Perhaps Jotunheim would prove to be a better place than Asgardians claimed.

It wasn’t.

Loki had met with the King of the Frost Giants and received no signal that he could find a place for himself amongst them. They were a harsh people, a suffering race, Loki could not find safe harbor amongst a people who themselves were not safe.

Worse though, was that he had aroused Heimdall’s suspicions. The Gatekeeper didn’t like how Loki had managed to hide from him.

Now not only did he have to face the complaints from Thor’s friends, but Heimdall was a dangerous enemy to make.

Unfortunately, it was part of The Plan he was rapidly forming.

In order to get Thor to come back, he would need to create a crisis. If he pushed hard enough, Thor’s friends would take the initiative and head down to Midgard to see Thor, to bring him home. And now that Heimdall was suspicious of Loki’s motives, the Gatekeeper would let them pass. Once there, Loki had a plan to hurry along Thor’s discovery of humility, fulfilling Odin’s decree that Thor not return until he learnt his lesson.

“Are you sure this is the course you want to take?” Frigga asked as she approached him that evening. Loki had just sent Sif and the Warriors Three away. No doubt they would soon make an attempt to get to Midgard, so Loki was waiting on the balcony to see the Bifrost open.

“No,” Loki murmured, “But I think it is the only one. I cannot stay.”

“And Thor cannot leave.” Frigga added just as softly.

It had shocked Loki when Frigga made it clear that she knew about Loki and Thor. She had been working on sweetening Odin to a union between them when Thor had pulled his stunt.

Now there was no chance for a union.

“First, Thor needs to return home.” Loki snorted, allowing a small smile on his face. He sighed softly, “Will you tell him, after I’m gone?”

“Yes. He deserves to know,” Frigga said, no shame or hesitance, “But I will not tell the Allfather unless you wish it.”

“I don’t. If he learns Thor has an heir out there, he will not hesitate to retrieve it.” Loki and Frigga both knew this. Odin would be relentless and blind to any harm he might cause. Thor’s bastard heir was a threat to the throne if not brought up in his or her rightful place.

Frigga nodded her acceptance. “I will miss you.”

“I will miss you as well,” Loki tried not to cry, but his hormones were out of balance and he found himself weeping at the worst times.

“I hope to see you again one day. And my grandchild.” Frigga told him with a warm smile. She looked beyond him, then, “Now however, I fear the next phase of your plan must be enacted.”

Loki followed her gaze to see the Bifrost activating. He kissed Frigga’s cheek before sweeping from the room.

He confronted Heimdall at the Gate and as expected, the all-seeing Asgardian turned on him. Using his magic, Loki froze the big male where he stood. He smiled sadly at the warrior encased in thick ice. Eventually he would be able to fight his way out, but for now he was stuck.

“I am sorry, Heimdall, but I cannot have you interfering,” Loki told the Gatekeeper. Heimdall had been a friend once and Loki genuinely liked the wise seer. Turning away, Loki paused then turned back to face the ice statue, “When they call, I trust you to open the gate.”

With that he left, he had a lot to do and not much time to do it.

 

The Destroyer Loki sent attacked a tiny little Midgardian town, scattering human residents everywhere. It didn’t hurt anyone, as ordered, but it sure did a lot of damage.

Loki’s heart broke when Thor approached the Destroyer, begging him to stop. The prince knew Loki was behind the attacking drone. It was part of his plan, but it didn’t hurt any less.

It hurt even more when a Midgardian woman clung to Thor and the prince let her. Loki let one of his hopes die, that Thor would welcome a child between them. The golden prince seemed smitten with the little mortal. Perhaps he would make her his queen some day, gift her immortality and marry her.

Loki almost wanted to smite her for that. But he reigned in the jealous urge. As much as it hurt, he had known from the beginning that Thor probably didn’t return Loki’s love. Their relationship was likely little more than fondness on the Asgardian’s part.

With a shuddering breath, Loki ordered the final strike and cried out when the Destroyer smacked Thor aside like a bothersome fly.

Thor would get up. He would have to. That was the plan.

He ordered the Destroyer to walk away, waiting, waiting, waiting…

There.

Thor’s inner core of righteousness brought him back, gave him that inane goodness he had always been capable of.

Mjolnir finally answered the prince’s call and gifted him back his true self. Loki watched in awe and fondness as Thor beat the hell out of the Destroyer. That show of power had always managed to get Loki hot and bothered and it did the same now.

But there wasn’t time.

Loki hurried to his balcony in time to see the Bifrost activate. Evidently Heimdall had broken free of the ice. Thor and his comrades would be storming the palace soon.

Now that the moment was upon him, he was terrified.

He would likely never return to Asgard. He would never see his beloved or the ones who raised him. He would live a new life, under a new identity, raising his child alone.

Because the only one who wanted the innocent life Loki carried, was Loki himself. Loki and Frigga, of course, but against Odin, Thor, and the rest of Asgard, Loki didn’t stand a chance.

It was best to leave, get a head start.

Yes, it was time to go.

 

Frigga watched as her son’s transport left under the cover of darkness. She didn’t know where he was going but she wished him safe travels and hoped to see him someday.

Thor and his friends burst into the royal chamber, no doubt looking to confront Loki.

“Mother? Where is Loki?” Thor asked. Her golden son, returned to her in all his glory, as proud and noble a warrior as she had always wished him to be.

“He is gone,” Frigga said, gesturing for Thor to sit beside her, “Come, we must talk.”

Thor looked hesitant and wary, looking for a fight that wouldn’t come. The Warriors Three and Lady Sif exited upon her command and then Frigga turned her full attention to her son.

“Oh, Thor, there is much I have to tell you.” Frigga told him on a sigh.


	2. For the Name

Luka Smith arrived in London with a baby boy on a beautiful Saturday morning. He moved into a modest apartment with two bedrooms and immediately set to work making it a home.

He set up his child’s basinet and other furniture in one of the bedrooms. His personal furniture was moved into the remaining room and the rest of the house remained fairly sparse for some time.

A few neighbours remarked on the lack of furniture but reasoned that the single father had probably had to leave most of his belongings behind. He had moved from America after all, or so the word was. He had returned to his native country after his wife passed away shortly after the birth of their child.

Loki surveyed his new home with a critical eye then nodded, satisfied. This would do. The neighbourhood was nice, the neighbours not too nosey. It was a good school district for when his precious child was ready for such things. Nicholas would of course, learn magic from his parent first, Loki could already sense the potential in the child. His baby boy might be small now but he would grow and so would his magic. It was going to be an interesting few years considering the people of Midgard didn’t know about magic, didn’t believe in it anymore either.

He had chosen Midgard partly because of this very reason. Few would think to look for him here, in this relatively primitive place. And no one would recognise him. There was no chance someone might know him from some sort of interaction he had had with a different realm.

“What do you think?” he whispered to the blond-haired babe in his arms. Nico was dozing off fitfully, not wanting to fall asleep yet. Typical Odinson really, Thor had been the same.

Just thinking of Nico’s other parent made Loki’s smile fall and a pang in his chest made him flinch. He didn’t let himself wonder what Thor might be doing now. He didn’t think he would like the answer.

Loki hadn’t been found yet so hopefully Heimdall couldn’t see him, or his baby. He had spent the months of his pregnancy on Midgard disguised as a woman and had given birth in some lonely little town somewhere in America. He had put his fake female name down as well as his current name and that of his son, before promptly faking his death so that no one asked where Nico’s mother was.

The story went that Luka Smith was a single father who returned home to London after the death of his wife, with his newborn child. Corresponding paperwork had been easy to forge and craft into existence. So he should be safe.

“This is home now, little one,” Loki whispered to his son. The babe had finally succumbed to sleep and Loki ran a pale finger over a chubby cheek.

Yes, this was home.

 

_5 years later…_

“Nicholas, if you’re not up and ready soon I’m coming in there with a bucket of water!” Loki called to his son. The apartment wasn’t that big, though bigger than their previous one when they had first moved to London.

“Coming, Mother!” Nico returned. He only ever called Loki ‘mother’ or ‘mum’ when they were home alone. In public he knew to call Loki Dad.

The blond haired child bounded into the room with all the energy and light that his other father had possessed. Laughing green eyes shone out of a face Loki had tried these past few years to forget. He never could, not when looking at a near replica every day.

“Bag packed?” Loki asked as he put a plate in front of his son. He checked his watch and nodded to himself. He had time before he had to be at work.

“Yes, I have my lunch made and everything.” Nico said as he shovelled in his food. He ate just like his father too, which Loki had always found a slightly gross habit.

“Eat with your mouth closed, please,” Loki scolded for the thousandth time.

Nico nodded and did as he was told. He was a good boy, well-behaved most of the time. But he knew his power and didn’t like it being stifled. Unfortunately, that was a trait from Loki himself.  So far they had contained it to mild tantrums but as Nico grew he would test the boundaries. Loki sensed a few more moves in the future in order to avoid curious neighbours.

”In the car now or we’ll both be late,” Loki kissed his baby boy on the head and walked him out the door to the car.

Nico hoped in and started up his usual chatter on the way to the school not more than a few blocks away. On Loki’s day off they walked if the weather was nice, but Loki worked at a bookstore that was further away and needed the car in order to get around.

“Have a good day,” Loki called before his son hoped out of the car and ran off to join his friends, waving at Loki as he went.

Loki smiled to himself and headed to work.

He arrived on time and opened the door to find his co-worker, Rachel, already getting busy with the day’s tasks.

“Morning, Luka,” she called. The bubbly brunette had become one of Loki’s best friends during his stay in London. Loki had met Rachel’s family and her girlfriends over the years and she had dinner sometimes with Loki and Nico.

Loki had been a bit worried at first about making friends with a Midgardian woman. He didn’t know if they were any different to Asgardian women. The women of his home planet might not have liked him but they had desired him and Loki had wondered if the same would happen on Midgard. It did, often in fact. Loki had never considered himself beautiful, not next to Thor, but the female population of Midgard he had interacted with seemed to like his appearance and he had been asked out more times than he could remember. He had turned them all down but he had felt flattered none the less.

When Loki had started at the bookstore and made friends with Rachel, he had been a bit worried it would become awkward if she asked him out. She hadn’t because, as he revealed later, she was a lesbian. With the potential for embarrassing rejections gone, Loki had grown to adore the woman more and more. Their friendship blossomed and soon it was like they had always known one another.

Loki had always wanted a real friend. In the past, people had fawned over him for being a prince, wanting to get his favour or that of Thor through him. They had never really wanted to know Loki, just get in good with the court and Odin. Loki had been disappointed many times when people he had thought of as friends were revealed to be sneaky fortune seekers. He had stopped trying after awhile.

“Morning, Rachel, how’s Denise?” Loki asked about Rachel’s latest girlfriend. Loki actually liked this one; she seemed genuine and friendly when he had met her a few weeks ago.

“Pretty good actually, we’re going to see my parents this weekend.” Rachel blushed and tried to hide it by sorting a shelf of books.

“Really? Seeing the parents already, are we?” Loki grinned, “My, my things are moving quickly now.”

Rachel poked her tongue out at him before telling him to shut up. A customer sweeping in saved her from further embarrassing remarks. Loki set to work in his section of the store and settled in for a long day.

Here, he was an ordinary man, taking care of his son and working a nine-to-five job. Here he wasn’t looked down on for his talents, he wasn’t a secret to be hidden away or a tool to be used.

He was Luka Smith, and he rather liked being just a mortal.

 

He was watching the news a few weeks later when he began to get suspicious.

A great big sinkhole had opened up somewhere in America, swallowing a government facility the media wasn’t allowed to further disclose about.

Why this particular story peaked his interest, Loki didn’t know right away. Sinkholes were becoming more and more common on Midgard and “government facilities” weren’t exactly a new trend either.

Maybe it was the other odd signs that cropped up when he went searching that triggered the suspicions.

“What are you doing, Mum?” Nico asked later that night before bed. Nico was already dressed in his pyjamas and he snuggled into Loki’s side on the couch where Loki was researching in his laptop. A marvellous invention computers; Loki wondered why Asgard hadn’t caught up to such technology.

“Nothing, little one,” Loki told his son, closing the laptop and putting it aside. “Have you brushed your teeth?”

Nico nodded, “Read me a story?” he pulled out the adorable little puppy-eyes.

Loki sighed dramatically but smiled, “Of course, grab a story and get into bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Nico raced off and Loki opened up the laptop again.

Storm anomalies in America, military manoeuvres in strange places. They all seemed to be connected somehow but Loki couldn’t quite see it.

“Are you coming, Mum?” Nico called. If Loki didn’t go in now, Nico would wander back out and demand more stories before bed. Loki’s son was a master when it came to making deals.

“Coming,” Loki shut off his laptop and went into his son’s room to settle him into bed.

Long after Nico was asleep, Loki lay awake in his own bed trying to figure out why the news events had so concerned him. Maybe he was being paranoid. It was probably nothing.

The next morning he woke up grumpy from lack of sleep but pasted on a smile when his son raced in. It was Thursday so his son was chaffing for the weekend to roll in.

Then Loki turned on the morning news and his day went to Hell.

An incident in Germany had occurred overnight. The quality of the footage from the attack wasn’t very good which Loki was grateful for because what he could make out made him sick.

A man in green and gold armour with a glowing sceptre stood over a group of people, making them kneel on the ground, threatening to execute them. The armour’s shape was so familiar it made Loki’s skin shiver.

That armour bore a remarkable likeness to his old Asgardian formal wear.

Iron Man and Captain America, two American heroes had arrived in time to stop the threat, for which Loki was grateful.

Especially since it seemed that someone was masquerading as him.

“Are you alright, Mum?” Nico asked, suddenly quiet, as if sensing his mother’s mood.

“I’m fine, Nico,” Loki murmured then turned to his son. “Do you remember what I taught you? About who your other father is and where we come from?”

Loki had long told his son about Asgard and Thor. His son might be young but he was smart. Scary smart. He was ahead in school and laughed off most lessons taught to those in higher levels. He was also a good combatant already, Loki having shown him a few things. He was a quick learner and had a fantastic memory recall.

Nico nodded slowly, searching his mother’s green eyes.

“The incidents occurring in America, I think, have something to do with them, and I need to go and investigate,” Loki told his son slowly, “I’ll take you to Auntie Rachel’s tonight and you can stay with her until I return, alright?”

Nico frowned but nodded again.

Loki forced a smile, “That’s my boy. Now, go and get ready for school.”

Nico hurried off and Loki’s smile slipped into a frown. He didn’t know what was going on in America but he needed to find out. If someone was coming after him, he needed to know so he could take care of the threat, or hide away from it.

“Ready, Mummy.” Nico’s small voice brought Loki back and had his heart softening. Nico only ever called him ‘mummy’ when he was feeling insecure.

“Come here, little one.” Loki knelt down and Nico ran into his arms. For all his stubborn bravery, Nico was still just a little boy who needed his mother. “I’ll be back in a few days. Just stay safe and be good for Auntie Rachel, alright?”

Loki grinned after receiving Nico’s nod, “And when I get back, we’ll take a trip for the weekend, just the two of us, how does that sound?”

Nico smiled slightly and hugged Loki tighter for a moment before releasing him.

“Can we go to the museum and then the park?” he asked, his tone sounding wheedling.

Loki laughed at his son’s antics. Yes, his child was a master at making the best of a deal. “Yes, we can go to the museum and the park.”

Nico grinned and shouted joyfully. He bounced around the house as he talked about what he was going to see at both places. Loki listened with half an ear as he dropped his son at school. The rest of his mind was on what he had to do. He was going to head to America, back to the place he had given birth to Nico all those years ago. He had the uneasy suspicion that all he had been running from was waiting for him in the States but there was little he could do about it.

He was going to have to face his demons, and better now than later.

 

By the time Loki was on a plane he knew where he had to go. New York. Of all the places, it had to be one of the biggest and well-known cities in America.

He was pretty sure Thor was going to be there as well. The unusual weather patterns made sense when he linked them to Thor. He had come to Midgard. He was probably teamed up with Iron Man and Captain America. Trying to stop the villain.

Did he think it was Loki? Did the monster who attacked Germany really look as much like Loki as he suspected?

Would Thor be able to tell the difference?

Probably not, if the magician was skilled enough.

When Loki landed he was informed that his flight to New York had been cancelled. It wasn’t hard to find out why.

Footage from the great city was airing all over the world, caught on all kinds of cameras. Thankfully, none of them showed the Loki-look-a-like, but the threat was still clear.

A rift had opened up above the city and was spewing out ugly aliens of some unknown origin. Loki didn’t recognise the beasts as they rampaged throughout the city streets. They must be from further than the Nine Realms.

Loki slipped away from the terminal under the guise of finding a place to stay for the night before heading home. When he reached a secluded place, he teleported.

The rush of his magic, so long had it been truly used, exhilarated him. He sighed at the familiar tingle of magic on his skin and in his blood.

Then he looked around and groaned.

The city was a mess. From where he had teleported, onto one of the few remaining buildings in the area, he saw Thor attacking the portal with his lightning. Loki shuddered at the familiar attraction that raced through him but pushed it away. Now was really not the time for that. He spotted Iron Man flying about the city, Captain America and a handful of others on the ground. He wondered vaguely who they were but ignored the curiosity. His only goal was to find out where his doppelganger might be hiding.

A roar brought his attention to a great big green man smashing his way through the aliens.

“What on earth is that?” he asked himself. That surely wasn’t human, and yet it was clearly fighting against the aliens.

The tide turned in the battle, the humans falling to the aliens one by one, and Loki contemplated stepping in. This wasn’t his fight though, he might be fond of Midgard but his son meant more to him. He could not leave Nico an orphan.

Iron Man flew past him with a giant missile and Loki wondered where all of these crackpots had come from. And how was it they were all Midgardian heroes when they were so suicidal?

Case in point: Iron Man just flew through a portal to who knew where with a big missile on his back.

There was a pause, as if everything was waiting for something. Then the aliens started dropping, like they were puppets whose strings had been cut. Loki watched as Iron Man fell from the portal to be scooped up by the great big green man.

But his attention was caught by a spike of power coming from one of the bigger buildings. He suspected it might have once been Stark Tower.

He teleported there and found his doppelganger crawling across the floor. The creature wore Loki’s old armour, had a fancy looking sceptre lying a few feet away and worse, he wore Loki’s own face.

“Who the bloody Hell are you?” Loki demanded, and then wondered when exactly the natives of London had corrupted him into using their curse words.

The imposter turned and gaped at him, looking shocked. Then he smirked, seeming to gather his bravado, “I’m you.”

“No, you have my face and my old clothes,” Loki corrected dryly, “I want to know who you are behind the mask.”

The fake smiled grew broader as he continued dragging himself across the floor. Clearly someone had given him a beating before Loki got to him.

“It doesn’t matter,” the imposter hissed, sounding strangely familiar to Loki. “Your face served my purpose.”

“What purpose was that?” Loki snarled. He really wanted to end this creature’s existence but he needed answers.

“You will never be welcomed back on Asgard, little prince.” The being cackled, “Now everyone will believe you are responsible for the carnage that has befallen the realm today. They will never accept you anywhere.”

Loki tried not to show his horror at the thought. He needed the other realms as safe havens if something happened on Midgard. If the other realms believed him to be a war criminal, they wouldn’t offer him safe passage; they would turn him over to Asgard.

“And who have I to thank for my fate?” Loki growled, advancing closer.

Before the being answered, if he had been about to answer at all, the sound of other arrivals brought his attention to the glass windows, or rather where they had once been.

“Loki!” Thor called, looking furious. He stopped dead upon spotting both the real Loki and the imposter.

“Whoa, why are there two psychopaths in my house?” Iron Man asked, his facemask was gone and his skin was ashen but he put up a good front, for a man probably dead on his feet.

An unknown man armed with a bow and arrow, looked over Loki then zeroed in one the figure sprawled on the floor. Hatred gleamed in blue eyes as the man notched an arrow and aimed, as if waiting for the being to move so he could shoot.

A red headed woman had two guns, one aimed at Loki while the other was trained on the imposter. Her face was impassive and it gave Loki the creeps.

Captain America looked adorably confused while trying to appear calm, shifting his gaze between both Loki’s.

The green being was behind them all, growling and grumbling but more or less calm as he glared at the man on the floor. Neither he nor the archer seemed to care about Loki, only the fake.

“What is going on, Loki?” Thor rumbled, looking straight at him, not the fake.

“Oh, shut up, Thor,” the being on the floor growled, full of venom and hatred.

Loki reacted on instinct, the way he had years and years ago when someone had dared to question Thor’s skills in front of Loki. He lashed out with his closest limb at the downed man, catching the imposter in the face with his boot.

The figure yelped and grasped his bleeding nose.

Iron Man let out a sudden startled laugh but the others remained quiet.

“I don’t know why you’re questioning him, that’s the bad guy,” the archer said, never taking his eyes off the now whimpering figure on the floor.

“How can you tell?” Captain America asked his comrade, “They look pretty much the same to me.”

The archer looked between Loki and the imposter before stating, “They look nothing alike to me.”

“Maybe your head’s still not screwed on straight,” Iron Man remarked.

“Shut up, Stark,” the archer returned just as full of vinegar as his companion.

“Loki.” Thor’s voice spoke up, “I know it is the real you, now.”

“But you didn’t before?” Loki asked, arching a brow.

The fake cackled again, “No he didn’t, the stupid oaf is so thick headed he can’t tell the difference between us.”

Loki looked down at the imposter, masking his rage as he stated coolly. “I can break every bone in your body and I can do it very painfully. Would you like to test me further?”

The creature grumbled but went silent. Those eyes, now full of fear and wariness, regarded Loki before sliding away in submission. It was very strange to see his own face twisted like that. Those were not his expressions on his face. It was truly bizarre for Loki to witness.

“Dude, you’re boyfriend’s a badass,” Iron Man remarked, smacking Thor on the shoulder in a show of friendship and familiarity.

Loki stiffened at being called Thor’s boyfriend but kept his face impassive as he moved his gaze to his former lover.

Had Thor told his new comrades about their old relationship? Did that mean something?

Loki refused to linger on those thoughts for now. There were so much more important things to think about.

“Can we focus for a second?” Captain America gained control again by looking to the archer, “How can you tell the one on the floor is the bad Loki?”

“Bad Loki? Sounds kinky.” Iron Man was told to shut up again, though Loki thought it was a little funny.

“The one on the floor is a great big blue man, the one standing looks like a normal person.” The archer stated.

Loki looked down at the sulking creature near his feet, “You’re Jotun?”

The creature grinned, full of sharp teeth and rage, “Just like you, runt.”

Thor growled and Loki sensed Mjolnir stirring up a static charge, ready to rend the creature in two.

“What the hell did I do to you?” he demanded.

“You didn’t die,” the being growled, suddenly furious and frothing with mad frustration. “You should have died like the pathetic runt you are! Instead you were “saved” by the Allfather and carried away to Asgard. I saw you, the day you came to visit our king. You didn’t hide well enough your true origins and I knew who and what you were, little prince. I could not allow you to live and be a blight on our race any longer!”

Loki blinked slowly at the enraged being as it spat its venomous words at him. Really? That was why? Because he hadn’t succumbed to death when he was born and abandoned for being small? That was why this Jotun had attacked an innocent planet?

“Well, you’re a little fucked up, pal.” Iron Man stated and this time no one corrected him.

 

The Jotun was led away in handcuffs; he would be revealed in Asgard and sentenced to death. Asgard might go to war over this incident, then again they might not. It wasn’t as if Loki was adored back on his home planet after all.

Thor was going to take the imposter back using the Tesseract. The main reason the Jotun and his strange allies had attacked the planet in the first place. The fact that Loki could be used as a scapegoat was just a bonus. The Tesseract was a powerful object, too strong for the people of the planet to wield yet; they were still too young.

“Will you wait for me?” Thor asked as he stepped away from his prisoner for a moment. The imposter was under the protection of the group of Midgardian warriors. Every one of them was willing to kill the creature if he so much as twitched the wrong way.

“No,” Loki replied, refusing to feel bad about the crestfallen look on Thor’s face. “There is nothing for us to talk about.”

“Not even our child?” Thor asked his blue eyes searching Loki’s green ones.

Loki inhaled sharply. He had wondered if Frigga would actually tell Thor of their offspring. Apparently she had.

“What good would it do?” he hissed, suddenly incredibly sad. There was no way a meeting would end the way either wanted. There were too many obstacles in their way.

Thor looked defeated but determined. How could someone do that?

“I will return,” he said, sounding certain, “And we will talk. Do not run from me.”

“And if I do?” Loki asked mulishly.

Thor arched a brow and a familiar expression stretched across his face, making Loki’s pulse jump and his knees weak. “You know what will happen.”

Loki gulped to wet his mouth then watched as if in a daze as Thor returned to the prisoner and took the other end of the Tesseract.

They disappeared in a show of blue light, Thor holding Loki’s eyes until he was gone.

Loki took in a shuddering breath and looked up at the sky, wondering if Heimdall could see him now.

Ready or not, he would have to face his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Clint can see through the bad guy's glamour is because of the whole mind control thing.


	3. For the Future

Loki slipped back into his life back in London with seeming ease. The cover story was that a member of his wife’s family had passed away and he had felt obligated to say his last goodbyes. Grief could explain any odd behaviour he might exhibit as he tried to ignore the possibility of Thor returning.

Maybe he would bring the Destroyer with him in a cruel twist of irony.

Maybe he would bring the All Father with him. Or his friends: Sif and the Warriors Three.

Maybe he would bring Frigga.

Loki hoped for only the last option. He also hoped that Thor wouldn’t come at all. That Heimdall couldn’t see him. He hoped his magic was still hiding him and his son from the Gatekeeper. The loyal seer would tell Odin everything he learned.

“Is father going to come and visit us?” Nico asked after several days of Loki keeping him close.

“I don’t know, little one,” Loki told his son.

“Would it be so bad?” Instead of answering, Loki pulled his child into a hug, holding him tightly. Nico clung to him in return. The boy was so innocent. Loki hoped his son stayed that way for a very long time.

 “Go and get ready for school,” whispered Loki to his son. Somewhat subdued, Nico did as he was told and headed to his room. Loki kissed him goodbye after taking him to school then drove home again on autopilot. He was taking a few more days off. He figured if Thor were going to show up it would be soon, in case Loki bolted. So he was making sure he was alone as much as possible in case things went badly.

No sense in having extra casualties.

Loki opened the door to his home and knew it was judgment day.

He could sense the electrical sparks that always followed his lover. Could feel the charged air and taste the lightning on his tongue.

He found his golden prince in the living room staring at a photo in his hands. It was a picture of Loki and Nico at the child’s birthday. Both were smiling, identical green eyes sparkling with mischief. Loki had always thought it a lovely picture.

“What did you call him?” Thor rumbled without turning around. Apparently Loki wasn’t the only one who had sensed the presence of another.

“Nicholas,” Loki murmured, “I call him Nico.”

Thor made a soft noise of acknowledgment.

They remained in silence for several long moments as Thor continued to examined the picture and Loki couldn’t tear his gaze off Thor.

“You look happy,” Thor finally said, looking up with an unreadable expression on his face as he fixed his gaze on Loki, “Both of you. I can’t remember the last time you smiled like that.”

Loki didn’t say anything.

Thor looked away. “Was living on Asgard so horrible for you? Were you so unhappy?”

Loki bit his lip, trying to decide what to say. Now was not the time to hide things though. Not if they had the chance for a clean slate.

“Not all the time. When I was with you, and it was just the two of us, I was happy. When I was with Frigga, I was happy.” Loki said slowly, unable to tear his eyes from the part of Thor’s face he could see, “But you could not always be there, neither could Frigga. When I was alone, sometimes I was lonely, other times I didn’t mind. When I was forced to interact with others…that was when I was miserable.”

“Why?” Thor asked. He didn’t sound offended, which surprised Loki. He sounded…resigned. Like he knew what was going to be said, but he had to hear it anyway.

“They made no secret how much they disliked me for a great many things; for my magic, for my position in the royal household, even for my looks. There was always something about me that people didn’t like,” Loki told him, shifting his eyes away and folding his arms across his chest.

“Were my friends aware of this?” Thor asked, his voice sounded strained and a little dangerous. Allfather help them if they had known, his voice implied.

Loki hesitated, wondering whether he should lie after all, then Thor finally looked him in the eye and he couldn’t. He could never lie to Thor.

“They might not have been aware of the others, but they never liked me. I don’t know why. Sif, I think, fancied you and didn’t like how close we were. Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg didn’t like how I wasn’t…like them. I wasn’t muscular and into fighting and glory. I was into magic. Trickery, they called it.” Loki sighed, “Simply put they didn’t understand me and didn’t like how you kept bringing me along.”

Thor nodded slowly, his eyes far away, “How did I never see it before?” he murmured, “I didn’t see it until Mother pointed it out to me after you left.”

Loki shrugged, “You took it for granted that if you were happy, I was happy, I suppose.”

“Did you ever say anything?” Thor looked uncertain as he stared at Loki, “Did you ever try to tell me something and I ignored it?”

“No,” Loki shook his head, “I learnt early on that I had to fight my own battles. Odin told me once that a true warrior of Asgard didn’t complain about petty squabbles.” He snorted as he realized the irony. “I never was an Asgardian warrior though, no matter how much he pretended.”

“Mother told me of your true heritage,” Thor murmured, offering a small smile when Loki shot him a sharp glance, “I was surprised and then horrified, not at you, but at my own actions. I attacked Jotunheim, your kin, in a childish bid for glory.”

Loki shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. You did not know. And I find that I feel no kinship towards them, or they towards me apparently. Or did you forget how the attack on this planet came about?”

Thor looked slightly relieved at Loki’s words but still guilty. Learning humility had finally gifted him the ability to see the consequences of his actions, to feel their ramifications. It brought a smile to Loki’s lips, to see his former lover so grown into his true glory.

“You will not come back to Asgard with me?” the question was so sudden it caught Loki by surprise.

“Not at this time,” Loki said slowly. Thor’s face was disappointed but not surprised or judging.

“I am sorry,” he rumbled. He turned back to the photo, “Tell me about him?”

Loki smiled a real smile and settled in to discuss one of his favourite topics, his son.

Thor listened intently, asking questions and enquiring about both Nico’s life and Loki’s on Midgard. It warmed Loki’s heart to hear such interest coming from his golden prince.

“Can I meet him?” the question wasn’t nearly as surprising as the other and Loki was surprised at how happy it made him.

“Yes,” a simple one-word answer that lit up the prince’s face and made Loki fall in love with him even more.

 

Nico bounded into the house with all the energy of youth and excitement combined with whatever sugary treats Rachel had snuck him on the way home.

He skidded to a halt in the doorway when he spotted the stranger sitting on the couch beside Loki. Drinking in the appearance of the new man.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously.

“Nico, this is your father,” Loki told his son gently, gesturing for his son to move forward and into his arms.

Nico shuffled forward, suddenly shy, without taking his green eyes off Thor’s face. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hello, Nico,” Thor rumbled, deep voice even deeper than normal with his nerves and emotion.

“You’re my father?” Nico asked, just like Loki, wanting to clarify the facts.

“I am,” Thor replied with an attempt at a smile. It looked shaky and nervous but warm.

“Mama said you’re a prince on another planet,” Nico said, challenging his sire.

“That’s true, I’m the crown prince of Asgard. What has your mother told you about Asgard?” Thor asked, glancing between Loki and Nico.

“Mother said it was a beautiful place,” Nico replied, looking to Loki for clarification before turning back to Thor, “Will I get to see it one day?”

Loki’s heart clenched at the question. He didn’t want to deprive his child of part of his heritage. It was bad enough he would never know Jotunheim, though it certainly wasn’t a bad thing that he would never know the hatred of the Frost Giants.

“If you wish,” Thor replied, looking pleased, almost bursting with joy.

Nico nodded with a small smile, “I would. Mum says it’s pretty and shiny. I’d like to see that. He says the gardens of the palace are beautiful too.”

“I would be honoured to show you some day,” Thor said with a more genuine smile.

“Are you going to stay with us now?” Nico asked, just like his sire, blurting out a question to startle everyone else.

Thor blinked and hesitated before looking to Loki for help. Loki squeezed Nico’s shoulders to get his son’s attention; “Thor has a lot of responsibilities back in Asgard, Nico. He can’t leave very often or for very long.”

Nico frowned, “So can’t we go with him?”

Now it was Loki’s turn to look at Thor for help.

Thor heaved a breath and reached out to touch Nico’s hand, gripping it firmly but gently. Loki admired the moment, the first time Thor touched his firstborn son, and vowed to treasure the memory.

“I hope one day, that you and your mother will stay with me in Asgard,” Thor said carefully, “But for now that cannot happen.”

Nico looked disappointed and on the verge of throwing a fit so Loki distracted him by asking him about his day at school. Nico still frowned but the pout disappeared as he began chatting about his day’s adventures.

For the moment the crisis was averted.

Thor stayed with them for three more days before he went home. Loki allowed the golden prince into his bed because he really couldn’t resist the Asgardian. It wasn’t romantic or life affirming but it was familiar and Loki revelled in the affectionate touches, the words and pleasure evoked by the Thunderer’s touch.

Loki thought he could let Thor stay with him for a few days and remain unchanged when the prince was inevitably called back home.

He was wrong.

The moment Thor had vanished; Loki had felt like a piece of himself had gone with him. It hurt. He realized he wasn’t nearly as over his old lover as he had thought. With Thor gone it was as if the light had gone from his world again. He hated his dependence on another.

Nico sulked as well, wanting his father to stay. He might be smart for his age, but no child could ever truly understand why his parents weren’t living together like the rest of the world seemed to be.

With Nico’s obvious upset over Thor’s absence, Loki made a hard decision he was pretty sure he was going to regret. However for his son, he would do anything.

He was going to go back to Asgard.

 

Thor was delighted when he heard of Loki’s decision. He promised that this time, things would be different, that Loki would be happy. Loki wasn’t so sure, but he was going to give it a chance.

He gave up his job and loaned all his furniture and possessions out to whoever wanted it. He claimed to want a change of scenery and was heading back to America to visit his wife’s family.

His friends, few that they were, accepted it and told him to keep in touch. Loki would at first but then slowly he would draw away. It would be easier to make a clean break but if he truly needed to leave Asgard again, he wanted to have some sort of support network waiting for him.

Maybe things had changed while he was gone though, maybe he could find himself a nice little niche in Asgard and settle there without too much fuss.

He could only hope.

“Mother is looking forward to seeing you again,” Thor told him as he led Loki to where the Bifrost would touch down, “She says she misses your talks and is anxious to meet her first grandchild.”

Loki shot Thor a fond but strained smile. Thor seemed certain that everything would be all right.

Nico was bouncing with excitement and nerves.

“Can you show me your horse? Mama says it’s a big white horse. Will you teach me how to ride? Can you teach me how to swing a sword? Mama says you’re good at fighting, can you show me?”

On and on the questions went. Nico was taking the opportunity to get to know his father and Loki couldn’t begrudge him.

Thor laughed at his son’s multitude of fast questions and did his best to answer them which left Loki with nothing to do but prepare himself. Heimdall would pick them up soon. They would be welcomed in the Watchtower by the Royal Guard and then chaperoned to the palace where Frigga and Odin were waiting in the grand hall for their arrival. Or so Thor said. Loki hoped it was true, but was half suspecting a group of guards would try and take him to the dungeons instead.

The whoosh of the portal opening struck Loki out of his thoughts and he looked up in time to see the vast lights around him before he was transported to Heimdall’s tower, where he looked over the Nine Realms.

“Welcome home, Prince Thor, Prince Loki, Prince Nicholas,” Heimdall greeted them, surprisingly warm instead of his usual stoic persona.

Thor greeted his friend with a warm and manly hug. Nico hid behind Loki and peeked up at the giant man in golden armour, a massive sword in his hands.

Loki was surprised when Heimdall stepped around Thor and greeted Loki with a hug as well. Rarely had the Asgardian seer acted so soft with anyone. Usually he was cool, calm and collected. Loki stiffened in the embrace for a moment before succumbing. It felt nice, familiar, though Heimdall hadn’t hugged him since he was a very small child.

After releasing Loki, Heimdall went down on one knee so he was more at eye level to Nico. With wide eyes, Nico stared as the seer leant forwards and bowed, with one arm clasped over his heart in the traditional way of Asgardian society.

Nico looked to Loki who nodded at his son, then the young prince returned the bow. It was somewhat stiff and short but Heimdall seemed pleased.

“I am pleased to finally meet you in person, young prince,” Heimdall murmured, “I look forward to seeing you again.”

Nico nodded his head shyly and Heimdall stood, moving away. The Royal Guard stepped in and Thor helped Loki and Nico up onto Loki’s old horse.

No one shot him any derisive looks or disgusted sneers. It was refreshing to see such a lack of animosity but also confusing. Why weren’t they frothing at the mouth over Loki’s sin? There were no whispers or sideways glances. Loki didn’t feel eyes glaring into his back. So far, no one seemed to care that Loki, a male Jotun, had borne the heir of Asgard.

Loki would like to be relieved but he was far too suspicious for that.

Nico was in awe of all that they passed and it was all Loki could do to keep his son in the saddle in front of him. It kept him busy so he was grateful for the distraction and didn’t scold his son.

Finally they dismounted and made their way to the palace. Loki held tight to his son’s hand and kept close to Thor. No one seemed to be objecting to his appearance but he was still wary. He risked glancing at a few people as he passed them in the halls, one or two of them even smiled at him.

This was going beyond strange and entering into somewhat frightening territory.

And it only got more frightening when he was ushered into the throne room. Instead of the royal couple dressed in their formal wear, armour and immaculate appearance in place, the King and Queen of Asgard wore casual dress. Loki barely recognized Odin out of the golden armour.

The doors shut behind them, leaving Loki alone with the royal family and his son. He held Nico close to him and waited to see what would happen.

Frigga stepped forward first. With a warm smile, familiar and gentle, she held out her arms and embraced Loki in a tight hug. Loki hugged her back but didn’t relax fully.

“It has been a long time, my son,” Frigga whispered in his ear before moving on to hug Thor.

Leaving Loki to face Odin.

The Allfather of Asgard stepped closer to Loki, his face unreadable as always. Loki tried not to look afraid but he knew how much the King could hurt him and his son, if Odin so chose.

“Loki, I am sorry,” said Odin, the words rasped and harsh sounding. His blue eye did not leave Loki’s green ones when he spoke. Loki gaped for a moment, caught off guard, before he straightened up and returned the Allfather’s intense gaze.

“Are you apologizing as my King or as my father?” Loki asked, his throat clenching on the words, wondering if he was pushing things too far.

“Both.” Odin didn’t hesitate in answering, he didn’t sound grudging at all when he spoke either. “I have failed you as both a King, and as a father. Therefore I must ask your forgiveness for my mistakes in both roles.”

Loki stared at Odin, searching for any signs of lies or tricks. Being known for such things in the past, Loki considered himself good at detecting such elements in others. In Odin he saw nothing but sincerity, and that was probably the biggest surprise in a day full of surprises.

“Then, as your son and as your subject, I forgive you…Father.”

 

How could a place he had known for decades have changed over a few short years?

Before arriving in Asgard, Loki would have thought it was impossible to do so. Yet here he was, two weeks into his stay on Asgard and he had begun to work out just how possible it was.

Everyone was different.

Thor was, as before, courteous and loving. He was affectionate with Loki in private just like he always had been, but now he was doing so in public as well. He hugged or just touched Loki in the presence of others; he even kissed Loki sometimes, staking his claim. He was also good with Nico, spending time with him and making sure he was happy and safe. It was…sweet. Something Loki had never truly thought to apply to Asgard’s golden prince.

Frigga was as she had always been; a calming presence that protected him from the harshness of others. Only now he didn’t need protecting and neither, it seemed, did Nico.

Odin was still King and as such could afford to show favour in public, to either of his sons, but in private Loki no longer felt like he was being held to Thor’s standard.

It was refreshing, not having to hold in all the bitterness, because there wasn’t any churning his stomach during their evening leisure time.

Thor’s friends, instead of grudgingly allowing him to join them, actively sought him out to spend time with him, even without Thor around. Loki had been suspicious at first but it was becoming clear that they genuinely liked to spend time with him. It was fun to spar, to laugh and joke with them all. Nico had warmed to them as well, calling them Aunty Sif and Uncles Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral.

Servants who before had almost hidden from him, now shyly approached him. Citizens smiled at him in greeting like they had always done with Thor.

“Why is everyone so different?” Loki asked Thor one night after Nico had been ushered to bed. Loki and Thor were lying in Thor’s bed, now their shared one as everyone seemed to accept that the two were a couple.

Thor wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to claiming what he wanted. The love bites and hitch in his step some mornings were testament to that.

“They have all realized how they treated you, how wrong they were,” Thor explained, “When Odin awoke from his sleep, he tried to find you, as did I. Mother, if she knew, would not tell us or help us look for you. As time went by, Father’s search grew less fervent but still as determined. Mother had been talking to him, telling him why you had left, how you felt like there was no place for you here. Father realized how wrong he had been in deceiving you and trying to control you, to control both of us. It is the first time I have ever seen him cry.”

Loki gaped, unable to fathom the image of the almighty Odin crying. The man who was always stoic and strong, who never showed weakness in front of anyone, had cried?

Thor smirked but the expression looked brittle, “Yes, he cried, as did I, that first year we both spent many tears when our searches came up empty.”

Loki nodded once, looking away for a moment to process it, and then turned back with a frown, “That does not explain why everyone in the kingdom seems to suddenly see me in a new light.”

Thor’s face tightened and he looked furious for a moment before reining it in. Thunder rumbled dangerously outside.

“There was a plot brewing, you no longer have to concern yourself with them, but they cast a spell over you that made most everyone dislike something about you. For Sif and the Warriors Three, they grew up knowing you and children are often wary of what is different. The spell twisted this feeling in them and made it into true dislike as you grew. It was only after you left and took the spell with you that everyone started to realise what had happened. Odin ordered an investigation into what was going on and we discovered the traitors. You don’t need to know their fate, just know that they can no longer hurt you.”

Loki had thought that the knowledge of Odin crying over him would be the biggest shock of the night, but to hear that all of his woes and mistreatment was because of some horrible people…it was beyond shocking.

“Why?” It was the only thing he could think to say.

“Jealousy. Hatred. Not of you exactly but what you could be, what you presented, and what you were to Father. Now, enough of that, time to sleep now, my love.”

Loki didn’t think he could sleep now, what with so many thoughts whirling in his mind. He was right. He stayed up long after Thor had begun snoring. He stared at the ceiling, trying to piece together what he had learnt and figure out what he was going to do now.

Answers didn’t come to him that night, but sleep eventually did.

 

“This place is awesome, Mum!” Nico cried as he climbed down off his own horse. The grey mare was a gift from Odin and Frigga from the royal stables for Nico’s missed birthdays. The actual celebration in a few days would be much grander and Loki was almost afraid to find out what the royal couple had decided to gift their grandchild.

“Did your father take you to the lake, little one?” Loki asked as he accepted the hug from his son.

Nico nodded rapidly, “It was so much fun. Dad took me to where you and he used to jump into the lake. Dad says I’m not big enough to jump from there yet but he let he jump from the shore. The water was so cold.”

“It’s an ice lake, Nico,” Loki informed him, “Of course it was cold.” He wondered why it had never affected the glamour Frigga had placed on him to hide his Jotun form. Supposedly cold could destroy it but the ice lake didn’t. Perhaps it needed true cold to defeat the glamour, the type only found within the Frost Giant realm.

“Did you get all of your letters written?” Thor asked, coming to walk beside them as they made their way back to the palace from the stables. Nico ran ahead to talk to some of his new friends. He had met some of the children in the palace and was having fun with those his own age.

“I did.” Loki sighed, “It hurts to tell them I will not be returning and that I cannot contact them anymore. Rachel will be the most disappointed, I think. I will miss her.”

“You would have had to say goodbye anyway, my love,” Thor said softly, “Her lifespan is far too different to ours.”

“I know. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

Thor nodded his understanding and changed the topic to Nico’s coming party.

“Mother has had the seamstress preparing new robes for all of us. I don’t know what they look like, she is being very tight lipped about the designs, but she said they would be memorable.”

Loki made a face, “That could mean anything from marvellous clothes to terrifyingly identical outfits.”

Thor snorted a laugh but nodded in agreement.

“There is something I wanted to ask you, but I think it would be best done in private.”

Loki looked at Thor out of the corner of his eye and saw the serious expression on the Thunderer’s face. Rarely did Thor look so concentrated and nervous about something.

“Very well, tonight after Nico has gone to bed?”

“Yes, that would be appropriate.”

Loki wanted to press. Now that he was feeling more comfortable in his place in Asgard he wanted to return to his old ways of teasing and mischief. But he knew better than to push Thor when he wanted to keep something secret. It would only end up frustrating him if he fixated, so he focused on his duties instead.

He was back to working with the royal family to better Asgard’s relations with other realms. It kept him busy and gave him a purpose rather than focusing on how much in limbo he still was.

What was his future here? Would he be Nico’s mother but Thor’s brother? Would he be relegated to the prince’s former lover when Thor was required to take the throne and marry to produce an heir? Nico was, after all, not born in wedlock so technically he wasn’t Thor’s heir. Would both Loki and Nico be demoted when Thor took a real wife and had children?

The thoughts made Loki’s head swim and his stomach knot so it was best to ignore them. Denial was bliss in this case.

But now Thor wanted to talk. He had learnt that on Midgard, the phrase ‘We need to talk’, very rarely ended well.

Sadly, the day passed much quicker now that he was dreading the end so before he knew it, he was kissing Nico goodnight and heading to his shared rooms where Thor was waiting.

Taking a deep breath, Loki braced himself and entered the bedroom, only to stop short when he almost stepped on a mass of red at his feet.

He frowned down at the floor, taking a moment to realise that the red was a bunch of rose petals, before he looked up. The flower fragments trailed away from the door towards where Thor stood, dressed in his best finery.

“Loki, my love, my one, the mother of my child and my best friend. You are the light of my life and the reason I am the person I am today it because of you.” Thor took a deep breath, looking as nervous as Loki had felt before entering the bedroom. “Loki, I love you. Will you do me the honour of accepting my hand in marriage?”

Loki gaped in shock, unable to comprehend what was going on. His quick mind had stalled and he was left gasping like a fish.

Thor looked more and more desolate as time passed and Loki did no reply. The sad look broke Loki’s heart and snapped him out of the shock.

Without a second thought Loki launched himself at his golden lover, smashing their lips together in a passionate kiss that ended with his helpless laughter. Loki’s legs were wrapped around Thor’s waist, the Thunder God’s big arms holding him securely. Loki’s arms wrapped around his neck and he kept them there when he pulled from the kiss and pressed their foreheads together.

“Thor, my love, my one, the father of my child and my best friend. You are the storm that soothes my dreams and the rain that washes away my fears.” Loki took a deep breath, “Thor, I love you and have done for a very long time. Yes, I will accept you hand in marriage and continue to love you until the day we both die.”

Thor pulled away to look at Loki for a long moment then he whooped, his inner barbarian coming out to play, and he laughed loudly with glee. He threw Loki onto their bed before joining him in the immaculate red sheets.

That night thunder rumbled the walls and lightning split the sky. Frigga and Odin smirked to each other when they realised why the storm had suddenly rolled in and went to sleep dreaming of more grandchildren and a coming marriage.

 

“Happy Birthday, Prince Nico!” the crowd shouted as Nico pranced around in his new robes, showing his new friends the gifts he had been given.

“He looks so happy,” Loki whispered to Thor as they watched their son mingle with his peers.

“He does, so does his mother,” Thor murmured in reply, brushing his lips against Loki’s cheek and looping his arms around his waist. Loki covered Thor’s hands and leant into the broad chest behind him. The ring Thor had gifted him was proudly on display for all to see. Their marriage would be official in just a few weeks.

Apparently Frigga had been planning it ever since Loki’s return. No one got in the Queen’s way when she wanted something.

No one.

So the plans were all set, everything was all but ready.

Everything was falling into place.

They had both suffered and come out better for it. They would no doubt face more obstacles in the future.

But for now, their future was bright and the world was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends my first multi-chapter story. I have some ideas for further sideline chapters but for now this is the story and I hope you liked it.


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